I'm beginning to think maybe I'm a little obsessive... I don't really think I fit the compulsive part. Unless you count the things I do against my better inner judgement as compulsive behaviour.
But I definately obsess... I am way into my head. Being air in both my sun and moon sign, I guess I just can't really escape it. I've been doing some reading of this lady who learns to meditate, in India, of course. Anyway, I think that meditation would be of great service to my existance... THINK being the opperative word here. I've had friends and lovers to slightly nudge me in this dirrection... maybe they knew me better than I myself.
I have been trying a simple chant I learned in the book, Ham Sa "I am That", it's pleasant and it's easy. The only thing I'm sure I'm doing wrong is laying in bed trying to sleep while I try this practice... lol. It's more of a "shut the hell up brain, I'm trying to sleep" mechanism for me right now... I've always done this, since a little girl, I can remember just repeating the word "sleep" until I did indeed meet that goal. Jac said that was a form of meditation... So I guess now, I'm realizing that I need a break from that yackidy yac thru out the day, not just as I'm trying to quiet down for sleep.
Yes, that's what I need more of in my life... quiet time, allowing my thoughts to pass over me. Jac always quoted someone, not Dr. Phil, but some inspirational speaker guy, to notice your thoughts like clouds, see them, let them keep floating by. And I guess that is kinda how thoughts are, floating from one subject to the next... unless, of course, you are obsessing over a particular thing or two at the moment.
Luckily I've had my thoughts being mixed up intermediately... failing love life... bottomless career... fear of new exciting career... lingering legal issues... and back to the no romance syndrome. It's just not right to have a Libran single for too long, her forever goal is reaching unconditional, requitted, passionate, soul merging love.... and yes, I am a hopeless romantic... tear.
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3 comments:
well atleast you are admitting it! ;) Nah it isn't as bad as it always seems.
Hey this is Chris's friend Melissa. I wanted to comment and say that i really like your blog. Also i wanted to thank you for being there for Chris, cause from what he told me he had a pretty horrible night a few nights ago. Actually a quite scary one. Thanks for helping him through it! oo and make another post LOL. Later
thanks hazel, thanks baby blue for reading and commenting on my blog. i'm thankful to have a space to communicate freely, through my fingertips, forming black and white harmony on paper.
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