Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Karma

There is sooo much going on right now, outwardly, internally... EVERYWHERE... I am completely overwelmed in even where to begin in the telling of the tale, much less, where I might start actually sorting through and coping with it all...

Ok, so Jac brings some "items" I had left behind, to my place of employment, to leave for me, and announces that she is moving to California. Knowing full well that I know this is where her "new" yet "old" friend lives.... So, just wanted to say THANKS, thanks, for the one last jab there, Jac.

Otherwise, I just don't get why she came there, feigning to deliver "items" that I had spelled out could go in the trash. So I know, she just wanted to let me know of her departure, and that she is "moving on". All the while, she is supposing, that I am still stuck, not letting go, missing her so.

And she is right in some ways... I do miss her, some days so intensley, I can barely move. However, I have also been moving on... going on dates, taking chances, being spontaneous. Bouncing back, essentially. The latest move has actually accelerated all this, so in that way, I am thankful for her letting me know...

And yet, there were so many other ways she could have gone about this... email, voice mail, text, offline message, none of which "chancing" a personal encounter... and this is where the anger comes in.... I told her in no uncertain terms that I did not want "an in person meeting", maybe what SHE wanted, but, how are my wishes being honored in her going to my JOB, asking for me, and putting my personal business out there? I was always hearing about how I did not honor her requests, and now that I am, she is ignoring mine?

Touche'... what goes around, comes around... and yet, I'm quite sure that I am the one who is sitting pretty, as far as this relationship goes. As I am not the one who offered a ring, then ran off to be with her ex of seven years ago. I made my mistakes, as I say, I'm paying for at last. Still, gotta be some good Karma in store for all the unrequitted love I constanly offered and gave to the apple of my eye...

No comments: