Online Dating

Much to my delightful surprise, I have not spent the week weeping over my past love... No, rather, I have gotten back in the saddle.

For about the past month or so, I have been slolwly re-intergrating myself back into the dating scene. I have chatted and talked with several women, even went on a few dates, nothing has really panned out, except...

I have met one lady who has begun to set my heart a flutter... and, damn, this is scaring the hell out of me. What I'm trying to remember, fear and excitement, two sides to the same coin, and I do feel excited.

We have been setting up little "chat dates", and I now feel I have something to look forward to in my day. Our chats really seem to flow, and we have definately hit it off in this department. Literally spending almost a whole work day, pecking away, reading and smiling to out and out belly laughter. It's been great!

Only... I have some reservations... Mainly, I am concerned that we will meet, and find that there is no shared chemistry. I know that I fall first for the person, the person she is on the inside, and as I grow to know her, well, there is nare a more beautiful woman to me... Yet, I understand, I am in the minority where this is concerned... looks do matter to some, maybe even most.

I have never had a real negative self esteem in regards to feeling comfortable in how I look, only now, that so much seems to be hinging on this mutual attraction, well, I'm feeling a bit timid.

I'm trying to stay positive, believing if the chemistry isn't there, well, there's a reason for that, and just trusting that the Universe knows better than I. However, I must admit, I will feel a deep sense of disappointment if everything else is a go, and it is only the lack of "attraction" to foil this new friendship.